Our Kids Are Struggling and We Can’t Keep Pretending They’re Okay

Imagine a student sitting quietly in the back of the classroom, staring at the desk, not answering questions, never raising their hand or engaging in class discussion. Or another student who suddenly explodes in frustration over a small mistake. Maybe it’s the student who struggles to get to school and is absent more often than they are present. At first glance, it might seem like these kids are unmotivated, defiant, or disruptive. But often, that’s not the case at all.

Across the country, more and more students are struggling with anxiety, depression, and thoughts of suicide. Schools are often the first to see these changes, but they are often misinterpreted, misunderstood, and not looked at through the lens as a student in crisis. Schools are rarely equipped to respond in a way that truly helps. Instead, students in crisis are sometimes treated as if they’re simply “falling behind” academically.

This misinterpretation is especially common for students with disabilities. While they make up about 17% of public school students, they account for roughly 24% of in school suspensions, 29% of out-of-school suspensions, 21% of expulsions, A child who argues, refuses to work, or loses control may not be “misbehaving.” They may be overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, or trying to express a need they can’t yet put into words.

Punishing these behaviors doesn’t address the root cause—it often makes the problem worse. Students disciplined for disability-related behavior frequently experience persistent sadness or hopelessness, and tragically, more than one in ten have attempted suicide.

Trauma-informed practices are essential for schools to adopt. These approaches help educators recognize that challenging behaviors are often signs of distress, not defiance. They create a school culture rooted in safety, trust, and connection. Teachers and administrators can be trained to listen, de-escalate, and respond with empathy, while schools can offer counseling, flexible supports, and individualized plans that meet students where they are.

Being trauma-informed doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means raising the standard for how we treat every child, especially those who need support the most. It’s not about excusing behavior; it’s about giving students the tools they need to succeed. Compassion replaces shame, and understanding replaces punishment.

Mental health struggles are not an inconvenience; they are a crisis. Schools have the power to make a difference, and it starts with empathy, awareness, and action. Every student deserves to be seen, heard, and supported, not punished for struggling.